LJ Idol topic 1: It's hard to beat a person who never gives up

[wolfden]

My favorite college professor once said, "Some people are accident prone, you, you are an accident slowly occurring."

We didn't know at the time, there was a reason for that.

My connective tissue hates me. I probably shouldn't phrase it like that. I give it more power than it has when I say that it hates me. It certainly feels that way sometimes. My connective tissue is defective. That is true.

I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, hypermobility type. I also have psoriatic arthritis. It is not a winning combination.

This year I had my shoulder repaired in January. I had a full dislocation of my jaw in July. I ruptured a calf muscle in September. This is typical. Honestly, I have been feeling like it's been a good year.

Unlike most people, my joints subluxate enough that I mostly put them back and keep going.

The calf muscle is a new one. I was dancing. It sounded like a gunshot. They tell me this injury is not uncommon in people my age. I guess this is a normal thing that happens sometimes. I'm sick of it. It's healing way slower than I want it to. I have things to do. A baby to dance with. Trips to take. It's already doubled the normal healing time. It's typical. I know I heal slowly.

I picked up the orthotic that is supposed to help my jaw this week. It's not my favorite and I need to wear it all the time. If it makes my TMJ feel better, it will be worth it. I don't feel bad about the strawberry milkshake I got for dinner.

There are days when my pain level is maxed out, when I'm out of coping mechanisms and I just want to give up. But I don't, I keep going. I keep pushing myself. I'm proud of the things that I have accomplished.

I sent my daughter off to university this year. She once wrote a paper about me for an English class about her personal heroes. I was confused by this choice. She said to me, "you never give up. No matter how much you are hurting. No matter how hard things get. You never quit." I feel quite accomplished about sending a mostly functional adult out into the world. I feel particularly proud that she holds me in such high regard.

Sometimes it is all too much. I hurt. I feel frustrated. I feel alone. I feel left out. I feel sad. I feel angry. I struggle. I fall. I need help.

There's still life and love and happiness. I find a way. I don't give up.

Comments

[thephantomq]

<3 Sometimes all you can do is just... not give up and do your best to take care of yourself, despite everything.

I'm glad that your daughter sees the strength you sometimes miss when looking at yourself. :)

[adoptedwriter]

I love the determination in this.

[fading_light]

My mom suffers from Narcolepsy and Cataplexy (which is linked to narcolepsy). She has apparently suffered from this since she was a little girl, but since she was born back in the late 50's, they didn't know much about it then. When she was fully diagnosed for it, I was a senior in high school. There still wasn't a lot of information out there about it back then (2000-2001), but I wrote my final essay about Narcolepsy in hopes of helping not only my mom understand what she has been suffering from all of these years, but to explain to my dad that my mom was sick.

As a daughter, I kind of get why she wrote a paper about you. While I didn't outright talk about my mom in my paper, it was all for my mom.

[bleodswean]

Totally inspiring and very encouraging! What a gift from your daughter!

[megatronix]

I can totally see why your daughter would write her paper about you. It is inspiring to see your parents never give up. My mom had a lot going against her, and managed to graduate from college with her Bachelor's the same year her first born, my oldest brother, graduated from high school. It's awesome seeing parents persevere.

That's a lot to deal with. I am sorry that you endure such frequent and chronic pain. And I admire your attitude of never giving up. This is a great read.

Congrats to your daughter (and to you!) on her heading to university this year, too!

[sometimesyourejericho]

This hit at such a personal level - I have EDS as well and I felt your honesty so intensely. Thank you for sharing this small piece of your struggle.

This is great

[dragonswimmer]

I like that even though you have a hard time you can write about it.

[murielle]

*Gentle hugs*

I hear you. I can relate to a small degree. I admire your courage and your commitment to life and love.

Totally inspiring piece!

[the_eternal_overthinker]

*Hugs* It's truly inspiring and your daughter has given you an apt gift. Keep going and inspiring people around <3

[dmousey]

It's a fantastic gift your daughter gave you. For her to be that perceptive at an age when most teens are self-centered means you did a great job raising her! Thans for sharing.

💙✌😊

[rayaso]

You're medical issues sound daunting. I can see why you're your daughter's hero, which also says lots of good stuff about your daughter. This is perfect for the prompt.

[tatdatcm]

Living with chronic pain must be difficult. You've conveyed some of that here. How awesome that your daughter views you as a hero.

[wolfden]

It is but I’m sort of used to it.

My daughter is amazing. I’m super proud of her.

[halfshellvenus]

Gosh but this sounds like a challenging (and frustrating) condition. The days where it's painful must be especially tough.

I can see why you're your daughter's hero, though. Your persistence and optimism not only help carry you forward, they're the qualities that serve to conquer almost any obstacle.

[moretta]

Hugs all around for this. Chronic illnesses that pile up around real life that's demanding to be lived are exhausting.
You should be proud of your daughter, she sounds wonderful.

[bewize]

What an amazing thing for your daughter to tell you.

A high school classmate of mine has been diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, so I know a little bit about it. It's brutal and I'm sorry you're dealing with that.

[favoritebean_writes]

I love that you absolutely refuse to give up. Your daughter is right. You are a hero.

[troof_therry]

That's definitely a lot to have to go through. A great answer to this prompt. Nicely expressed, though sorry you're dealing with it.

[alycewilson]

I agree with your daughter. You are inspirational.